Fear is generally something we run away from or try to avoid. In early human evolution, fear was a big part of our survival instincts. So we carry with us that immediate reptilian brain reaction of pulling away from or even running away from things that cause us to feel fear because our brain still has that split second reaction of running from a bear! We have to train our brain to not overreact the second we start to fear something. Fear of going back to school is very different from the fear of becoming something’s dinner!
Well, tonight I was listening to a life coach training and had a bit of a breakthrough moment when she started talking about the idea that fear is sometimes a sign that we are headed towards something really important. It makes sense because if you don’t care about something then you are not going to be fearful of the outcome. Did you feel fear when you chose what to eat for dinner last night? You might have if you are concerned with losing weight or making healthier food choices. If not, then you likely just made a choice and moved on. Feeling fear at a new job could mean you really want to make a great first impression and fit in with your coworkers. If it’s a job you don’t care about, then you are not going to care what the people think of you there.
So fear could be our friend in showing us what is really important in our lives. Beyond survival, a sense of fear becomes a sign to us to start paying attention. What fears are you noticing in your life right now? I have a fear of changing careers. It’s so very important to me to become a life coach that I’m full of fear to get out there and do it. I’m fearful of charging money for something that comes easily to me. I’m fearful of being my own boss again because it’s much more difficult than just following the directions of another. But that fear is signaling that these goals are actually really very important for me to pursue. The fear keeps me swirling around and not taking action while reminding me how much I want to pursue this idea. So from now on, when the fear comes up, it will be my reminder to keep moving forward. It’s a calling card from my highest desires.
I have to agree with coach Julie Parker of Beautiful You Coaching Academy when she says – “the greatest antidote to fear is action.” Doing nothing keeps you in a fear spiral, just digging you in deeper and deeper. But taking one step towards that goal will give you just the tiniest bit of proof that the fear is not a bear. Fear can be your friend. If you can rewire yourself to react to fear with a positive action instead of running away, then you have learned a valuable tool to start taking more control of your future. So when you hear that fear call, remember it’s just a friend calling to remind you to do something.
What’s that big dream that you have calling you? Maybe it’s so big you are too afraid to even say it. Do you want to lose 50lbs? Move to another country? Learn another language? Go back to school? Start a family? Double your income? Whatever it is, just take a little action. Maybe it’s just writing down that goal for the first time. Take the action. It will be worth it! Fear is your friend now.
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