Pausing is not in my nature. I’m generally a go, go, go type of person. The pandemic has been the unavoidable pause in all of our lives for a year now. I can remember a year ago taking my last business trip. I remember the optimism of the year ahead on the marketing program that I was working on. After 7 years we were finally getting the attention and respect that we had worked so hard to gain. The teams were ready, the planning was complete, then just a huge pause, fear, then most of us lost our jobs. It’s taken me this long to finally make peace with it, but if I’m honest there is still a bit of sadness. While I’m finally able to go back to some contract work, I’m still missing my love of creative marketing work. I’m missing part of my identity. I became almost paralyzed to do anything because I needed to change my identity. I needed to overcome the pause and the shame that I felt around it. But it’s time to get back to writing and connecting. I’m sorry that I took a break, but sometimes a pause is needed.
Why is it so hard to get back to doing something after you take a break from it? The most relatable example is often diet and exercise. Missing one day can so quickly lead to more and more days, and before long you forget how you ever felt when you were eating better and working out most days. Thankfully, exercise has been my constant through all the changes of the last year. So why is one commitment easy to keep but others have fallen off? The reason is that I made exercise a part of my identity. It became a non-negotiable. I do it even when I don’t feel like it. I do it even when it’s not as good of a result. It’s just part of me now. I got to that place with a lot of consistency, but also with the feeling of identity. Writing was part of my life, but I didn’t make it a part of my identity. It was easy to skip week after week when I didn’t feel like it. Then, after weeks of not writing, the shame starts to creep in. I would feel bad about not writing, so it was easier to ignore the calendar reminders to write a blog. I didn’t want to write if it wasn’t up to my standards. It’s the same for people trying to get back to exercise. You can’t go out and run a 5K again if you haven’t gone out for a run in years.
The pause is hard to overcome. You have to ease back into things. It might not look the same as before. It might take a long time to get back to where you want to be. But two things are going to be key in coming back after a pause- consistency, and identity. Taking some action every day or week, even if it’s small or not what you would like, is essential. You have to break the mental barriers that a pause puts up in your mind. It’s a bit like needing to push a cart up a hill and the first thing you have to do is get it over that speed bump. Taking that first action is the hardest part. The thing that will help ensure the consistency of taking action after that first obstacle is to change your identity. Once something becomes a part of your identity, then you will make things non-negotiable. Those who identify as vegetarian or vegan are not going to eat meat if someone offers it to them. It’s non-negotiable. I’ve gone hungry or had terrible meals many times because I’m not willing to eat meat anymore. I’ve made being an athlete part of my identity. I am not going to skip a day of exercise. It’s part of who I am now.
As I struggle to create a new identity, I want writing to become a part of it. So here I am writing again. I am sorry for the pause, and this post isn’t exactly my normal style but I still took action. I hope that maybe it inspires you to take some action again as well. Even if you lost something due to the pandemic, start planning now to take action when life returns to normal. What can you do now? How can you change your identity? What are your non-negotiable parts of your identity? Let’s get over this hump together so we can get up to speed and start coasting again by the end of the year. I believe in you. How can I support your change? How can I cheer you on? Better days are ahead if you choose to make them better. Take some action today and let me know what you want to add as part of your identity.
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